The secret to staying in love as told by my patients

I’ve had this note in my phone for a while now. I never had the intention of sharing it, especially here. For me, it is a happy reminder of my patients and the lived they shared together. My job can be very difficult, many times I witness the end of my patient’s story, when I missed all the good chapters in the middle. While not all the patients on this list passed on in the MICU, all of them had extraordinary support. Their once fierce promise to love both in sickness and in health was proven without a doubt to be true. Their love did not fleet in fear. While changed, it had not been hardened in life. Instead, you could tell that time had both sculpted and softened it. Please let these words remind us that love, like life, can be a journey too.

TO HAVE AND TO HOLD

true love as told by my patients when asked their secret

“Marry someone that you love, very much”

– Patient J, married 63 years

“I married my best friend. I would be lost without her”

– Patient G, married 40 years

“Oh, he makes me laugh. That is very important”

– Patient M, married 50 years

“Lot of yes, dear!”

-Patient J, married 31 years

“He really liked my cooking!”

-Patient J, married 35 years

“Well, we never agree. But I keep him on my toes & him on mine”

-Patient J’s wife, married 45 years

“I couldn’t run fast enough!

-Patient R (whom laughed as he said this)

And the very last patient is one that is incredibly special. Her fierce kindness was magnetic. She had been with the worried, doting man at her bedside for over 30 years. Not married, but partners all the same. She had three incredible diamond rings. They were so beautiful, you couldn’t help but ask. So, she obliged me: She had one ring for each time the man proposed to her. Yes, he proposed to her three times hoping she would change her mind. She told me she was too busy enjoying their life together that she never got around to planning anything.

Each ring had a different inscription:

The first: I loved you then

The second: I loved you now

The third: I love you still

…and the third was the one she wore when she said her vows. It was with the help of my incredible coworkers that she peacefully passed in the MICU a married woman. I encourage you to read her story here, written by one of our doctors.